The Power Of Responsibility

The Power

Of Taking Responsibility

Embarking on the journey of empowerment begins with taking responsibility for our whole beings, our health all of it; mind, body, and soul. I prefer to frame this in terms of awareness, body, and nervous system. To truly grasp the art of responsibility is to understand where it all begins, ground zero, where empowerment is born, along with its transformative gifts that lead to a life-changing capacity.

If you don’t comprehend what it means to take responsibility or how it feels within your body; making meaningful changes in your life, attaining mental health or better yet emotional regulation, and physical well-being will be nearly impossible. Your environment and the experiences you attract will remain stagnant.

For an immature nervous system, responsibility can feel like an insurmountable burden, an avalanche of annoyance, paralyzing fear, and endless excuses to evade accountability. This reaction is normal for a child, who is not yet equipped to understand this concept. However, as adults, it is imperative that we learn and practice radical responsibility.

Taking responsibility does not equate to accepting blame, blame is a different beast entirely, one we will explore in a future discussion. It also does not mean tolerating poor treatment; that, too, is a form of irresponsibility. Instead, responsibility involves full ownership of your reactions to what happens to you and how you interpret events. It’s about extracting as many lessons as possible from every situation, achieving a high level of self-awareness.

Remember, taking blame is not the same as taking responsibility.

The first steps toward freedom, emotional health, and empowerment begin with claiming agency through responsibility. This is not an easy concept to grasp or practice. Transitioning from mere words and concepts to actionable practice requires time and effort. If you’ve not previously engaged with this concept, distinguishing what is your responsibility from what is not can be challenging. Understanding your boundaries is essential to identify what is your business and what is not.

Imagine being a professional boxer, stepping into the ring amidst cheers and flashing lights as the fight is about to begin. Your mind is quite, present and aligned with ending your opponent. You had not trained as hard as usual, but you were sure to finish him.

During the match, your opponent demonstrates speed and strategy that surpass your own, landing a series of precise combinations that exploit your weaknesses. When the fight ends, the judges declare your opponent the winner based on points. Overconfident in judging your opponent by their appearance, you underestimated them. Now, in this moment, do you complain that they were too fast or too skilled? Or do you humble yourself, reflect on where you went wrong, and identify the weaknesses you need to address? Will you commit to eradicating those mistakes through practice and repetition, or will you choose to blame and make excuses? If you choose to blame, you’ll never become a great fighter—or win any meaningful battles in life.

The empowered fighter says, "I will understand where I went wrong and work on my defence to create an impenetrable shield." Complaining about the speed of others only takes you out of the game and limits your growth. This is what taking responsibility means.

In the game of life, challenges will come at you—hooks, feints, and tricky combinations. It’s up to you to learn how to respond better. Reflect on your reactions, what you felt, and why. Consider how you can feel more in control and empowered. This journey is all about embracing responsibility and transforming your situation.

Blame, however, can be a seductive escape from responsibility. It offers a fleeting sense of relief but ultimately hinders growth, leaving you stuck at the same level of maturity. Blame is merely an indicator of where you stand in your personal development.

Understand that, whether you like it or not, you are born with a set of responsibilities assigned to you by life, God, or the universe, however you define it. A child may not yet possess the ability to shoulder responsibility, which is a natural part of growth. They learn by observing their peers and gradually taking on small tasks. If a child is burdened with adult responsibilities too soon, it can stifle their development, leaving them with traits of that immaturity as adults. 

As we transition into adulthood, we inherit a multitude of responsibilities. Life has granted you these, and if you attempt to offload them onto others, you will resist the flow of empowerment and wellness. Many individuals unconsciously try to escape their responsibilities, which often stems from immaturity. In the end, it is they who will suffer, entering a state of disempowerment and victimhood, losing their sense of agency and allowing external circumstances to control them.

Reclaim your agency and empowerment. No matter how challenging the journey may be, learning this skill is crucial for transforming your life into one of health and empowerment. From here, confidence will blossom, and a solid foundation will form.

Jim Defmer writes on radical responsability  illustrating that true power and position in the world don’t always correlate. This is one messages echoed by figures like Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, Jesus, Viktor Frankl who quote “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedom, to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own” Man's Search For Meaning. They recognized that power resides in taking responsibility and refused to see themselves as victims of others' apparent authority.

Here are some key responsibilities you hold as an adult:

• Your emotions

• Your reactions

• Your physical health

• Your mental health

• Your actions

• Your perceptions

• Your understandings

• Your words

• Your thoughts 

• Your finances 

• Your happiness

• Your wellness

• Your boundaries

• Your needs

• Your choices

• Your beliefs, religion, spirituality, or any guiding principles

• The relationship with your family or community

• Your interpretations of the world

• Cleaning after yourself or your kids

• Cooking for yourself or your kids

• Caring for your children and pets—it's not solely your partner's responsibility; it's a shared duty.

• Education 

• Civic responsibilities 

• Legal responsibilities 

• Social responsibilities 

To begin this journey, focus first on emotional responsibility. Basic tasks like cleaning your room or cooking for yourself can be a start, but underlying emotional blocks may hinder your progress. Often, these blocks stem from subconscious beliefs that you do not deserve a fulfilling life. Ultimately, every interaction with your environment triggers emotional responses that require awareness and understanding.

What does it mean to be responsible for your emotions? Many people confuse their emotions with the reality of a situation, mistakenly believing that acting out their feelings is being responsible. For instance, feeling angry and directing that anger at someone is not true responsibility. Emotions are reactions or triggers; you must comprehend your feelings before expressing them. Ask yourself questions like: Why am I in this situation? What have I done or not done to arrive here? How can I change this?

Avoid asking what others have done to create this situation; such thinking disempowers you and casts you as a victim. Whether it’s a partner, job, stranger, or societal issue, each has the freedom to behave as they choose. Your responsibility lies in your own growth and understanding.

If you feel anger, lashing out before assessing the situation is irresponsible. It’s easy to project and react to our projections. Therefore, every intense emotional reaction—positive or negative—should prompt introspection. If you find someone attractive, it doesn’t grant you the right to act inappropriately. Instead, approach them respectfully.

The practice of radical responsibility involves taking full accountability for your reactions and interactions. Whether facing job loss, or conflict with a partner, you co-create every situation with your response. You possess the power to alter the dynamics based on how you interpret and react.

Embarking on this journey of responsibility can be daunting. You may struggle to discern where your responsibilities end and others’ begin. The discomfort associated with taking responsibility can evoke frustration and resistance, as the ego resists accountability. The ego hates responsibilities and is very ungraceful on how it manages its defiance.

If you are just starting, you may grapple with blame, boundaries, and an understanding of your needs and values. This confusion complicates the practice of responsibility. But rest assured, these skills can be learned, guiding you toward understanding boundaries, needs, values, and empowerment.

When you lack a clear understanding or practice of responsibility, you might experience sensations like:

• Tightening in the chest

• Tightening in the body

• Your body feels heavy

• An urge to flee

• Feelings of fear, annoyance, anger, or overwhelm

• A sense of entrapment

Confronting these sensations and exploring them from a new perspective requires courage. This challenging journey involves surrendering and connecting. Choosing to engage in this work is essential, as it demands awareness and the willingness to disrupt habitual patterns

Facing your responsibilities can be a challenging yet rewarding journey. You can explore various methods to process and learn, whether with a therapist or through personal reflection. Here are some key insights:

• Did you leave trash on the floor? It’s your responsibility to pick it up.

• Is someone being unkind? Stand up for yourself and communicate your boundaries.

• Have you fallen ill? Focus on healing.

• Struggling with emotional dysregulation? Learn to manage your emotions. I know it's big task, but starting by learning responsibility will begin the journey of emotional regulation.

• Do you have trauma? Start the healing process.

• Degrading, insulting or blaming your loved one? Seek help to change.

• In an abusive relationship? It’s your responsibility to leave and heal. This is not an easy task, but one that can be done with a lot of courage and work.

Every situation is unique, but they all require you to take responsibility. This means actively addressing issues and evolving.

Recognize what you can do, there's always a way forward. Take the time to learn about your behaviours and commit to actionable steps for change. This journey of empowerment isn’t easy; it often takes two to four years of consistent practice to fully understand. However, the benefits can be felt immediately as you begin to halt destructive and victimizing behaviours.

Keep in mind that your ego resists taking responsibility, which may lead to discomfort along the way. Yet, with commitment, you can transform into a more empowered, confident, and healthy version of yourself.

Some individuals chose to stay in the misery they know, than challenge themselves into the unknown journey of transcending to a more empowered version of themselves. 

You have the power to chose who you are.